These are true stories of my experiences as a waitress.

Stories of a Waitress Slowly Going Insane

Kick off those slip resistant shoes and relax

Doctor Snobby

So I’ve been with a weightloss program since the beginning of January, and each month I meet with this doctor that asks me all types of questions to see how my progress is going. The last time I went, I had a brand new one that I’d never seen before. 

She asked me what types of exercise I do daily, and my response was, “I wait tables.”

… blank stare…..

… minutes roll by….

… more blank staring….

Doctor Snobby: “So…. do you do anything when you get off of work as far as exercise goes?”

Me: “Yes; I use my upper arm strength to open a bottle of wine, drink heavily, and then blog about shitty customers until I feel like all is right in the world… then I pass the fuck out.” 

another blank stare

Doctor Snobby: “So you consider waiting tables exercise?”

"Nope… I consider it a vacation from the world… OF COURSE IT’S EXERCISE! I never stop moving around like a maniac until the night is over with." 

Doctor Snobby: “Oh… Well it’s obviously working for you since you’ve lost weight so far….” 

no shit, Sherlock.